I must be too annoying 4 u.
so explain again why im purple
no
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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