btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
