You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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