the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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