We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
