My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
