I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
