Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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