I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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