Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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