How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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