theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize