is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
