Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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