as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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