I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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