How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
