I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
