i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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