Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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