so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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