we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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