found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
