i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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