I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
