All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
