1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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