New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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