its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
