it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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