dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize