I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
