I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
