I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
