New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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