I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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