bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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