it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
