In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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