Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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