Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
