you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
