she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize