so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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