I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
