if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
