I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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