There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize