omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How's work?
Spinning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize