I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
