It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
