If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
