And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
