Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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