I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
