i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
