Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
