I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
