As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize