I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
