I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
