glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
