I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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