I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
