yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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