problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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