I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
