I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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