Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
