Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
